In a recent blog enty, I referred to a Doonesbury cartoon by Garry Trudeau published on Oct. 31, subtitled, The Retirees. In it, wives are portrayed as active and engaged while the husbands are bland and out of it. Eventually, the men actually fade away. It is a dramatic statement.

But, a statement of what?

One way to think about this is a kind of traditional story told about women. Unlike men, women value relationships and family. These realms remain vital as we age and therefore, women retire and age much better than men.

Except that this does not seem to be Trudeau’s point. The women in the cartoon are involved in the ACLU, book club, the library and advanced education. Notably, nothing here about grandchildren.

Another traditional gender view would be that men have problems aging because they compete physically and cannot bear to give up sports. This is a point called dying twice, when competitors must give up intense competition in their 40’s. There is a great story about this in Sports Illustrated from November 2021 issue, called How Long Can We Play by Michael Marsicano.

But, again, this does not seem to be Trudeau’s point. The men in the cartoon regularly play golf. They have found a way to remain competitive. This kind of sports activity turns out to be empty. Hence the remark about the putt.

To understand the cartoon, we can consider another Sports Illustrated article, this one from the September 2021 issue, about Brian Snitker, the manager of the Atlanta Braves, entitled Better Late. Snitker waited 40 years to become a Major League manager. He was 60 when it finally happened. This year, at 66, his team won the World Series.

The Snitker story is remarkable because he persevered when there was little realistic chance he would ever get an opportunity. He was sent back to the minor leagues on several different occasions. His family suffered financially and in many other ways.

But he loved baseball.

I am not recommending the Snitker approach to life. Read the story. The price he paid was maybe not worth it. But that is really for his wife and family to decide. It had a happy ending of course, but for most people would not have. But Snitker decided his life had been a good one even if he never became a major league manager.

And this is the point. It’s not that the men in the cartoon were defined by work and the women were not. That is not what made retirement hard for the men. It’s that the men were defined by work that was not their passion.

I can contrast the men in the cartoon with my wife Patt. She is a journalist who is retired. But as she would say, she remains a journalist. This is why her work on my book was so valuable. So she remains active and vital.

The men in the cartoon, in contrast, were apparently just working to make money or to have power. That was a trivial life then, but they were too busy then to take notice.

That triviality is what makes retirement difficult for them.

So, and this is no surprise. To retire well, live a meaningful life all along.

My Uncle William lived within walking distance of his synagogue until he died. Although work was important to him, his life of worship was more so. And, of course, that did not end with retirement.

However, and this is the kicker, how does a secular society manage this? What are its sources of meaning? The cartoon suggests the ACLU and advanced education. But if that is just curiosity and politics, I doubt it in the long run.